Excursions into the psyche of my insanity

Now, I'm a pretty laid back person. Actually, I'm as easy going as it gets. Yes, I can be a little high strung, and yes, I can get a little rowdy and upset at times, but for the other 90% of the time, I'm easy going...trust me, if you had the life I had before I got married, you'd be laid back too in just sheer relief that I WON'T be going through that again. Plus, because I'm taking Zoloft, I don't get upset very often anymore. For the time being, since he had total knee replacement surgery, my father has kindly loaned me his car. I'm his chauffeur on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's to take him to physio and drive him around town to do his errands. My husband, as I've said a million times is and AWESOME guy...and I mean absolutely fantastic. I've been in a mean catch-22 for the last year and a half. If I don't have a car, I can't get a job, If I don't get a job, I can't have a car. It's the most frustrat...

I've been noticing this more and more...that every time I go and do something, later on, someone comes back and is amazed that I just did more for them that other people have or would have. Well, I'm ten days out of completing my second month on Sertraline (Zoloft). Now, for someone who likes to dwell, has a nasty case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression and has the beginnings of Rheumatoid Arthritis, I was pretty miserable all the time. I just couldn't get over how some people just couldn't accept good people and take what they were handing out at face value. I kept questioning why, WHY were people so bent on hurting other people when it takes less effort to do something kind and polite, enriching the world around you? That was mixed with suicidal tendencies , in other words, I just couldn't wait to die. I started smoking when I was 18 because I couldn't come up with any other way to kill myself then by smoking. Yeah, that's it, Lung Cancer...an...