Excursions into the psyche of my insanity

There are so many things, that over time, that I've missed about myself. My world has changed so dramatically in the last 8 years, that pieces of me have become missing. I found one piece over the last couple of days that I hadn't seen in so long. A reflection in the mirror that told me that I was completely alone. I think I can actually feel my blood turning to ice. I remember as a child being rejected and hated for who I am. That my punishment for my passion and intelligence is that I am condemned to hell for actually using it. I remember being a 13 year old, condemned to lunches in the highest room of my junior high school, looking down through the windows at all of the children who lived to hate me. Who lived to abuse me and were a constant reminder that I have no place in this world. I looked in the mirror today at my tear-streaked face. A face I haven't seen like that in close to 20 years. But the pain is so familiar, it's this void in the middle of my che...

Paved with good intentions I guess... Or could it be that the road to hell is basically what life is until you pass into the next world? I'm not sure. There is always one person in your life that you know extremely well that you feel the need to help, come hell or high water. That you love them so much and see so much limitless potential in them that you kick, scream, shout and absolutely make an ass out of yourself trying desperately to get them to see how truly special they are, even if that person does not believe it for themselves. I have one of those friends. It's hard to explain, really. I live so carefully by the expression, "Make your words kind, gentle and tasteful, for one day you may be forced to eat them." that sometimes, I don't say what I should to people. However, last night, I just couldn't hang on to the ethic I repeat to no end a bajillion times a day. I'm afraid that my friend got some not so kind or gentle sentiments from me. But whe...

I'm starting to think that my life is one long Group Therapy session. Let's catch up. For the last 5 months, I've been in World of Warcraft. I have a level 70 Night Elf Druid. In that world, I have met MORE outstanding individuals. Let's face it, where ever I seem to go, Excellence follows, and I'm not saying that out of malicious pride, I'm saying that from a point of view of that I keep meeting awesome people. Let's get down to our list of Characters in our group therapy sessions. Chris - Is dealing with Hypothyroidism, like I am, he also is dealing with most of my issues, obesity, depression, inadequacy issues, abandonment issues, suicidal tendancies but he has one that is unique to him, he gets people to hurt him physically. Cat - Is dealing with privacy and independance issues, depression and insomnia. She is also dealing with inadequacy issues as well. Nancy - Inadequacy issues, OCD and depression. I never knew that fighting monsters in an online worl...